Being a Mall Cop is incredibly satisfying.
In my first week’s work, I’ve:
- Rescued women from being assaulted in the parking lot (3)
- Helped a mother who’d locked her baby and keys in the car (1)
- Prevented thefts (14)
- Broken up fights in the Food Court (5)
- Returned forgotten purses and personal items (27)
Plus, I have a nifty electric mobility device that allows me to move through crowds with the swiftness of Hermes. It’s called a Segway. Totally genius. (Hephy, you’d love it!)
The one dark spot is that every store in the mall is promoting some kind of “Mother’s Day” special.
I don’t have a mother.
You’d think that after thousands of years, it would get easier. But it doesn’t. It still hurts when I think about the loss. Nothing fills the void.
Hera’s been a fantastic stepmother. I’ll always be grateful that she accepted me into the family when she married Zeus. She didn’t have to be so generous. I don’t know that my half-brothers and sisters can say the same, but I do think of Hera as a mom, and she’s treated me well.
But she’s not my mother.
Zeus likes to say that he’s my father and mother. The story he likes to tell over and over is that I sprang from his head fully grown, covered in armor and ready to kick ass.
But even the drunks in the pub know that’s half the truth.
The full truth?
I had a mother. Her name was Metis, goddess of wisdom. My father killed her. He turned her into a fly and swallowed her, taking her wisdom for himself. But she was already pregnant with me. So, I grew and grew until Zeus was ready to release me. Like everything he does, he had a hard time letting go, so I was in the oven a little too long. That’s why, when they finally cleaved his head open, I emerged fully grown.
I love my dad, but I will never forgive him for taking my mother from me.
That’s why Mother’s Day sucks.
If you have a mother, please give her hugs and kisses and tell her you love her.
And if you’re motherless, like me? I love you. Come by Olympic Mall on Sunday, and I’ll give you hugs and kisses. Maybe I’ll even let you do some wheelies on my Segway.
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