Wisdom of the Scribe
“You are becoming a mob, this won’t do.”
= Physical Appearance =
Weight: 104 lbs.
Hair Color: Black shaggy hair, brow length.
Facial Hair: Stubble to none (slow to shave face)
Eyes: Brown with a little bit of amber around the edges.
Distinguishing Features: Dangerously thin.
= Family =
Parents: Clymene and Iapetus
Siblings: Atlas, Menoetius (Dead in Tartarus, Epimentheus
= Professions =
Blogger. Openly rebels against Zeus’ mandate at this time.
= Residence =
Delusion (Undisclosed base of Atë)
= Personal Information =
General Overview: Pro has a reputation as a trickster to the Gods and a hero to humanity. It’s easy to underestimate him and he’s more than willing to play pathetic or dumb to achieve his objectives. Pro is always planning things and he knows that everyone knows that about him, so he’ll plan things just to have the Gods think there’s a reason for him doing things even if they don’t matter.
Pro is deeply invested in the fate of mankind and more or less sees them as his children. Since his escape from Tartarus he lives alongside mortals and desperately craves their love.
Pro spent the last four hundred thousand years tied to a rock, so he doesn’t hide his emotions. Instead he works hard to convince others that his emotions come from places that they don’t necessarily belong. He’s all about the big picture and the idea of morality, and in all his interactions he seeks to test the boundaries of one’s psyche.
Among the Pantheon Pro has a deep hatred for Zeus rivaled only by his disdain for Epimetheus. He has no loyalty to his family, nor the Titans or the Pantheon as a whole. For millennia Prometheus was Hades’ prisoner, and while he’s come to fear the God, he doesn’t hold his imprisonment against him. He sees Hades as a fair God who’s taken on a burden too great for one deity, and Pro has a little bit of Stockholm Syndrome towards Hades, hoping Hades can change for the better. Prometheus has a glaring soft spot for Persephone as she’s the member of the Pantheon to spend the most time talking to him during his imprisonment. He does little to hide his feelings towards Persephone and desires her happiness above any other God’s.
Nicknames: Pro. Zeus’ Pet Rock.
Likes: Humanity, Progress, Technology, Television Shows, Movies, Food, smoking, Persephone.
Dislikes: Zeus, Epimetheus, Eagles, Liver, Internet Culture, Mindlessness, Riots, Prometheus.
= Flaws / Weaknesses =
Stories about Prometheus are as varied as they are inconsistent. How is Prometheus around to trick Zeus, who then immediately punishes man? How can he be freed by Heracles while also freed by Zeus in exchange for a prophecy of a child that overthrows him? Why is Prometheus’ son Noah for all intents and purposes, and how could he have had a child while chained up for the blessing of mankind? To alleviate these problems I simply declared that all of these stories are the dreams of man, hoping to free Prometheus, and even if he WAS freed, he could’ve been chained again putting him back to the rock. There’s also the issue that some sources mention Prometheus chained in Caucasus, but this is a place on Earth. It’s more convenient to have him chained in the depths of Tartarus along with the other damned.
= Skills / Abilities =
Immortality – Prometheus is technically immortal. He is immune to the effects of aging. Curiously Pro can be wounded, making him wonder if he, unlike the other Gods, can actually die by mortal means.
Babble-speak – Prometheus can communicate in all languages and dialects.
Founder of Civilization – As the founder of civilization, Prometheus is more or less the God of Civilization. He can immediately see the dynamics between groups of people and understand how the social hierarchy is laid out. While the free will of humanity prevents him from being able to control them directly, his knowledge gives him a great starting point to influence people.
Theft – Protheus is a master thief in the old ways. He knows how to hide, how to be silent, and how to take what isn’t firmly bolted down. His greatest act of theft was stealing the flame, but this was hardly the only thing he ever stole.
Manipulation – Prometheus is a skilled manipulator and uses his ability to perceive the social fabric to create openings. While Pro doesn’t possess a supernatural ability to influence, he’s one of the few to openly trick Zeus, and he did it more than once.
= Personal Attire =
Normal Daily Wear: Semi-formal wear made for children, or casual attire.
Alternative Dress Wear: Tends to run around his place naked.
= Magical Artifacts/Weapons =
Nothing magical, just a pack of smokes a lighter, and whatever he’s nicked.
= Introduction =
You got tickets to THE SHOW! You want to take your friend, but you want to take someone who’s loyal, someone you appreciate. Who do you bring? Ask your friends to help you move, and take the one that will help.
“But it’s a lie!” Your cricket sized conscious screams at you.
Find a good boot and squash Jiminy. The funny thing about lies, is that they can give you the truth. You tell your friends you have tickets to the show, and suddenly they love you. They’ve always had a special connection to you. They are the ones lying, not just to you, but to themselves.
This little anecdote reminds you of three things.
The first is that people are shallow. Zeus thought he was above this. Back in the day, you’d even call Him heroic. Now, we know just how shallow He was. I was the first to shove His hypocrisy in His face, to prove that he cared so much about appearances, that he didn’t even bother to look inside an offer of food. I’d say that put me on his bad side, but He never really liked me.
As a Titan, everyone thought I would fight with my father to stop Zeus, but I knew better. I remembered that Iapetus and His brothers stole creation from Uranus, just as Zeus would steal it from us. I knew then what I know now. All people think they’re righteous – the other point to my little story. See, Zeus didn’t like me not because I stood against Him. No, He didn’t like me because I DIDN’T stand against him. He saw my moral relativism as cowardice.
This brings me to the final point of my tale, you do what you will because of civilization. Why bring your friend with you at all? Why post pictures of you and your bestie? Just to give your secondary friends #fomo? No, the answer is civilization. The Olympians take credit for everything from your hangnail, to your tax returns. The Primordials fancy themselves the very words you write read. I am your true friend. The one who will tell you to take someone else to the show, because they make you happy. I gave you the fire of civilization, because I knew you would overthrow the Gods.
Now you have.
Zeus comes to you begging for worship like a husband looking for a blowjob from his menstruating wife. Tell him you have a headache and go back to living your life.
I can hear your tweets now, “if you hate Zeus, why are you helping him?” Hera asked me to, and you don’t say “no” to Hera. That and I literally have nothing better to do. I’m chained to a rock with an Eagle I named Koráki. It’s Greek for crow. Not the nicest of names, I know, but she’s eaten my liver for the past four hundred thousand years.
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