You can check out any time you like,
Buy Hades a coffee ☕ before your appointment and receive special afterlife upgrades.
= Physical Appearance =
Weight: 250 lbs (113 kg)
Hair Color: Golden brown; Thick Comb-over with a Classic Taper
Facial Hair: Curl-up Hipster
Eyes: Steel Blue-Grey
Distinguishing Features: None
= Family =
Parents: (Dad) and Rhea (Mom)
= Professions =
CEO of the Underworld Consortium
= Residence =
The Greek Underworld, a.k.a. Hades. Now located in the sub-basements of the Olympus Administration Building, Olympus Complex, Greece
= Personal Information =
General Overview: Generally, Hades is stern and unyielding, unmoved by prayers, devotions or sacrifices. When fighting or angered, he appears as a heavily muscled, dark-skinned man– hideous in appearance with fangs and flames for eyes.
He is very active in the modern business and political worlds, and seeks to continuously affect mortal decisions in the pursuit of ever increasing wealth. He is considered persistent and determined when it comes to accumulating wealth. With repeated exposure to the mortal world, he has mastered the art of sarcasm and wry humor. When interacting with mortals, he appears kind and handsome.
Although he still loves Persephone deep inside, her repeated absences have caused his depression to grow. This has led him to distrust her actions while she is away and for him to immerse himself even farther into his work.
Deity Nicknames: Lord Hades, Pluto, Lord of the Dead, Ruler of the Underworld, Lord of Riches, The Unseen One, The Wealthy One
Likes: Cerberus (his dog), Coffee, fast sport cars, leather office chairs, pruning his Pomegranate and Cyprus trees, tending to his narcissus (daffodil) gardens, screech owls, collecting new subjects to staff the mines, and flirting with the occasional mortal Ginger or Nymph
Dislikes: Currently Undefined
= Skills / Abilities =
Immortality – Technically immortal. Immune to the effects of aging, cannot die by any conventional means, and is immune to all known mortal diseases and infections.
Babble-speak – Can communicate in all languages and dialects.
Death God – As a Death God, Hades can claim the souls of any worshipper of the Greek Gods and take them to his Underworld as his servants. The dead move and obey Hades’ command without dispute and are unseen by mortals unless Hades wishes differently.
Limited Shapeshifting – Hades appears as an ordinary human when on the mortal plane. This permits him to blend in and conduct day-to-day business with mortals. When in immortal battle, he reverts to his natural deified state. In the Underworld, he can appear in either form as he wishes. At times of stress, he can partially select areas of his body (e.g. blue flames may appear from his eyes to punctuate his anger.)
Telekinesis – Hades can move small objects (up to the size of a vehicle) in visible range without physically touching them.
Geokinesis – Hades can create, shape and manipulate earth and “earthen” elements including most solid objects, specifically all minerals and mineral compositions regardless of their state.
= Possessions =
Normal Daily Wear: Tailored Italian suits with a double-breasted waistcoat; Modern, hand-burnished, chestnut, leather dress Bluchers or dark brown cap-toe chukka boots.
Flat Cap of Darkness – Helmets are so last millennium, Hades has upgraded his Helm of Darkness to something more modern and stylish. When the Flat Cap of Darkness is worn, Hades can become Invisible
Key Ring – Holds the Key to the Underworld
Walking Cane – Having shed his scepter and bident, Hades now carries a walking cane capable of shattering things in his way.
Dark Sparks Mug – When using his mug, his coffee never spills, always stays warm, and gets free refills at all Dark Sparks locations worldwide (Currently (as of May 2019) missing.)
= Historical Synopsis =
Hades is the Greek god of the Underworld, the place mortal souls go in the afterlife. He was the fourth child of the Titans, Cronus and Rhea, and first of three brothers. His father, Cronus, swallowed him at birth and regurgitated him. Hades and his brothers, Poseidon and Zeus, defeated the titans and became rulers of the Underworld, Sea, and Skies, respectively.
As the Lord of the Dead, Hades rarely left the underworld. This caused him to be a brooding figure. He sat on his ebony throne often wearing his Helmet of Darkness and holding either his scepter or bident.
For the longest time, his only close companion was Cerberus, the three-headed dog which guarded the entrance to the Underworld. That is until he became enamored the the goddess Persephone and devised an ingenious ploy to secure her marriage and eventually her love.
Source: The Editors of Encylopedia Brittannica. (10 Jan 2019). Hades.
= Introduction =
Felicitations and salutations on your arrival to the unhappiest place on Earth, the Underworld’s Sulfur Springs Resort & Spa! My name is Hades and I am the sole proprietor and chief executive officer of the resort. Despite getting numerous one-star ratings, we have established ourselves as the premiere option for your post-mortal living needs. In fact, as the marketing poster on the wall boasts: “99.9 percent of all new residents choose to remain eternally.”
The majority of our permanent residents seek employment with our mining company, Mourning Fields and Mines. Our job security guarantees are unrivaled—you will have employment for the rest of eternity. For the environmentally conscious, be assured the latest technologies of questionable efficiency are employed allowing us to claim organic and green environmental sustainability. Since, we can keep labor and production costs to a minimum this allows our stocks to continually rise—thus making me filthy rich.
You have already met my dear personal assistant, Charon. He is the one that ferries new clients into my office with quiet efficiency. He has always handled his job with the regal dignity of the finest valet. Though he respects my need for privacy and solitude, there is not much that can be done when there is a steady supply of new clientele. Someone is always dying or looking for a lost love. It can be quite bothersome at times.
This is why we established business hours. A God needs some damn ME time, you know? So, 9 to 5, Monday through Friday, it is the same old grind—a constant flow of new and bewildered clientele in my office—many are trying to bargain for upgrade packages and perks. The majority were just dying to get here. Either way, their accommodations are already booked in advance by the ever helpful Fates. There is little I can do to change it, that is, except for a small price… maybe a coffee ☕ .
Be warned, I would think twice before barging in unannounced. I always know when someone is about to take up space in my office. You see, Cerberus, my faithful pup, can smell you coming. You all smell of the same thing—old Chinese Take-out Broccoli—a complex aroma of misery, desperation and unfulfilled expectations. You are probably sniffing yourself right now, aren’t you? Mortals are so predictable. No need to worry your little brain, our experienced spa staff is ready to pamper you with the finest in afterlife techniques. But, seriously, wait your turn unless you have a desire to become puppy chow.
So, without further pomp and circumstance, please take a number, kick back and relax, and enjoy the reality TV reruns until your number is called.
Editor Note: Introduction to All in the Pantheon written by C.E. Robb (04/30/2019)
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