Basic Information =

GodBlogs: Athena

Portrait of Athena courtesy of
Chris Rallis Fantasy Art

Physical Appearance =

Height: 6’1″

Weight: 200 righteous pounds

Hair Color: Dark and curly, often worn braided beneath a golden helm. No man will ever see it unbound.

Facial Hair: N/A

Eyes: Grey, blue and green – the color of the sea – which, when angered, flash fire from heaven

Distinguishing Features: Always fully armed for battle with an undergarment of skillfully woven tapestry (her own work), breastplate of tasseled goat skin, golden sandals, a bronze spear, a shield featuring a snake-headed amulet, and an armguard crafted from the skin of Pallas, a Titan she defeated in battle. Homer described her as being “as brave as she is beautiful” and traveling like “a meteor flashing against the sky” in her flaming chariot. Her owl, Mr. Hoots, is always nearby.

Family =

Parents: Zeus and the ocean nymph/titan Metis, the mother of deep thought, wisdom and magical cunning. Some say her father was really the titan Pallas, the father of battle and warcraft (who was also a famous spear-thrower). For many years it was believed that Athena had no mother as she was “born” fully grown and armed from Zeus’s skull. But that was because he turned the pregnant Metis into a fly and swallowed her to keep her from bearing a child that would overthrow him. This gave Zeus a colossal headache. He asked Prometheus to hold his head as Hephaestus cleaved it open and Athena stepped out.


Half-brothers: Ares, Hebe and Hepheaestus (Hera); Apollo (Leda); Heracles (Asteria); Dionysus (Semele); The Centaurs (Gaia); Hermes (Maia); Pan (Hybris); Perseus (Danae).

Half-sisters: Artemis (Leda); The Fates/Moirai (Ananke); Hecate (Asteria); Persephone (Demeter); Aphrodite (Dione); The Graces/Charities (Euanthe); Eris (Hera); The Muses (Mnemosyne); Helen of Troy (Nemesis)

Spouse: None. She refused to marry Hephaestus and remains a virgin goddess.

Children: Erichthonius is her adopted son. (When Athena rebuffed Hesphaestus, his semen fell upon Gaia, and she bore this child.)

Professions =

Athena serves as head of security at the Olympic Mall, where she fights crime on a Segway. In her spare time, she is a Girl Scout troop leader.

= Residence =

Olympus Administration Building

= Personal Information =

General Overview: Known for her level-headed, clear-eyed approach to life, Athena is able to influence much but prefers to let people find their own way and fight their own battles. She is rational, just and fair, unemotional, optimistic, and resilient. Slow to anger but unyielding when aroused. Hasn’t always made the best choices, but works hard to learn from mistakes.

Deity Nicknames: Pallas Athena (Athena the Spear-Thrower); Athena Nike (Athena the Victorious); Athena Parthenos (Athena the Virgin); Athena Promachos (Athena on the Front Line [of Battle]); Athena Polias (Athena of the City/Civilization); Athena Poliouchos (Athena Patron Saint); Athena Ergane (Athena the Spider/the Weaver)

Likes: Clever, witty people who are courageous and strong in the face of adversity; devising battle strategies; brokering peace agreements; negotiating; righting wrongs; playing tricks; serving up divine justice; weaving and other skilled crafts; war games; games of skill; and inventing things. She’s a city girl, not a country mouse, and loves mortals and civilization.

Dislikes: Arrogance, ego, lack of piety, wanton cruelty, emotional instability, and being dominated or treated as a possession.

= Skills / Abilities =

Immortality – Technically immortal. Immune to the effects of aging, cannot die by any conventional means, and is immune to all known mortal diseases and infections.

Babble-speak – Can communicate in all languages and dialects. 

Mental Manipulation – Athena can influence the way people think and feel, infusing them with courage in the face of terrifying circumstances, putting their hearts at ease or manipulating their emotions to the contrary. She is also able to lull people to sleep and create visions that speak to them in waking or dream life.

Transmogrification – Athena possesses the ability to change her own appearance and those of others at will, often appearing to mortals in disguise. She is indiscriminately male, female, old, young, high-born and servant, and often appears as a bird. She is fond of serpents, spiders and owls and has a reputation for turning haughty people into unpleasant creatures. But she doesn’t appear in disguise for long before revealing herself to mortals she favors (she appreciates being appreciated)

Tempestarii – As the offspring of an ocean nymph and the father of the heavens, Athena is able to perform weather magic to raise or calm the winds and waves. She is no match for the earth-shaker Poseidon, but she has been known to interfere with his storm-throwing in order to help favorite mortals find safe harbor. She is has the power to wield Zeus’s thunderbolts.

Primogenesis – Athena can bring things into being and give inanimate objects life. Living things that she created include olive tree and human beings, to whom she gave the breath of life when they were simply clay dolls fashioned by the Titan Prometheus.

Engineering Acumen – Athena is an inventor and tinkerer. Among her many inventions are the flute and trumpet (which she doesn’t play), ships and chariots. She’s also credited with many of the domestic and farm-centric tools that made civilization possible, such as the plow, horse bridle, wagon, rake and earthenware pots.

Chronomagic – Although she cannot stop time, Athena is able to slow the passage of time, extend night and slow the arrival of Dawn, should her heroes require her to hold the reins of time and stall daybreak.

= Possessions =

Normal Daily Wear: Her mortal costume is her security gear, which is just a cloaked version of her normal battle gear transmogrified to look like the Olympic Mall uniform. Although she really uses the Segway (she prefers it to her chariot for indoor use).

Alternate Dress Wear: At home at the Olympic Administration Building, Athena prefers to appear in her full glory with golden helm, shield, battle armor and spear. But if she’s relaxing, she’ll hang out in one of the beautifully woven gowns she’s made for herself.

Magical Artifacts/Weapons:

Gorgonea – These snake head amulets persuade mortals to abandon their transgressions and choose a better path by reminding them of the consequences of bad behavior. One is prominently displayed on Athena’s shield, and it makes a terrible sound when she’s in battle.

Aegis of Zeus – Athena wears her father’s goatskin vest into battle. With the head of a gorgon on it, it renders Athena immune to physical harm and protects her from the evil intentions of others.

Zeus’s Thunderbolt – As Zeus’s favorite child, Athena is the only one who gets to play with his toys. The thunderbolts are terrifying weapons, but Athena and Zeus often toss them the way mortal dads might throw a baseball around with their kids.

Metis’s Ring – A birthday gift from Nike, this owl ring, which belonged to Athena’s mother, endows the wearer with enhanced magical cunning and powers of trickery.

Mr. Hoots – The immortal owl of Athena, who sometimes acts as her butler, messenger, child and confidante.

Golden Sandals – While wearing these sandals, Athena may fly anywhere in the world, and walk over any surface, at the speed of sound.

Flaming Chariot – This chariot enables Athena to travel the world at the speed of light.

Helmet and Spear – Athena’s favorite battle gear symbolize that wisdom and strategy are the key to victory. As long as they are together, she is destined to be victorious.

= Historical Synopsis =

Even the sun in the sky stopped to watch as the bright-eyed goddess Athena burst forth from Zeus’s head, shaking her spear at him as the earth and sea quaked around them. She quickly became Zeus’s favorite child, considered second in power only to him. A prolific inventor and craftswoman during peacetime, she believed in war primarily as a way to end conflicts, with strategy being the quickest way to achieve a peaceful end. She loves mortals and often mentors heroes, but can be a master of cunning magic and trickery, often disguising her true form, manipulating weather and time, and turning the tide of battle with pranks like the Trojan Horse. Back after a 2,000-year hiatus, Athena is clever, irreverent and very eager to learn all she can about this new world so she can help the mortals get back on track. But she suffers no fools and will gleefully fight for what is right.

Sources: Hesiod, “Hymn 29 to Athena,” Theogeny: Homer, The Iliad, Homer, The Odyssey, Wikipedia, “Athena”:

= Introduction =

Hey, hey, hey, it’s your favorite grey-eyed girl, Athena! I have to say, it’s great to be back. I’ve missed you messy, smelly, brave, laughable, lovable mortals. And from the looks of it, I bet you’ve missed us gods, too.

From what I can see you’ve fucked up even the simplest things royally.

Like war. The US has been in Afghanistan for what … almost twenty years? The siege of Troy didn’t last six months! And I wrapped it up with the world’s best practical joke (seriously, that horse totally killed). 

And what’s up with YouTube? Don’t get me wrong, I love Five Minute Crafts, but what’s with all the videos where people are crinkling paper and chewing food? That’s not relaxing. And don’t even get me started on the unboxing and the game-playing vids … it’s like you’ve forgotten how to do things for yourselves!

That’s going to stop. 

They say you can’t fix stupid, but I’m willing to try. Dad told me you needed help, but man … he … I don’t even know where to start. 

But, hey: I love you jack rags! And if this odyssey of mortal improvement lasts a thousand years, know that I’m here for you. All. Day. Long. #yougotthis!


Pallas Athena

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