I know…I know I shouldn’t have been surprised, but I have to admit there was a bit of a shock factor. So there I was sitting at the desk, filling out a form. I had already gotten a jump on the whole, “Get a job or else!” decree that Zeus had sent down from on high. Most of his proclamations I consider more…suggestions rather than something I have to act on. It is hard to take someone seriously after having seen him turn himself into a giant bird just for a lay, or go after a goat like it is the love of his life. Anyway…I digress. This idea of his, I actually like. I know the other gods are bitching and moaning about the whole thing, but I don’t know why I hadn’t thought of this myself! And there are sooo many jobs that will lead me right to my preferred prey.
The courthouse is odd; it has that hushed feel to it that hospitals or churches have. People talk quietly, almost reverently. Only here, it is not in deference for the sick, or in worship of their deity. Here, it is in fear of inciting the wrath of the law. Their quiet is to avoid the notice of those that mete out supposed justice. What better place for me to settle in? Me, the literal goddess of justice and retribution. I have found other places, other jobs, to satisfy the wrath and revenge. The law is just an attempt to make order out of my chaos. With me here, these mortals will wish that the law was the only thing they had to contend with.
So there I was, sitting in the quiet, filling out my forms when from the front doors, music begins to blast. My powers ping, announcing the presence of another God. I look up to see none other than Hermes walking towards me. A swagger in his step, dressed in a hard hat, jeans and a bright orange vest. Everyone stops what they are doing. I see the guards at the front door look at each other in confusion. Hermes’ teeth flash white in an arrogant grin as he begins a slow throbbing dance, a la the mortal, Channing Tatum, from one of those stripper movies. My mouth actually drops open. Now, anyone that knows me, knows I am not opposed to a little strip dance here and there. But this was so out of left field, even for Hermes, that it took me a moment to process.
Everyone stopped what they were doing and doors opened for a better look. I smiled and through clenched teeth hissed, “What are you doing?!” His grin broadened as he slowly slipped off the vest, “I am delivering Zeus’ message, just as he ordered!”
Suffice it to say that Hermes made about a 100 bucks for that dance, Zeus’ message was delivered, although it was completely unnecessary and I saw more of Hermes than I ever needed to. Luckily, I still have my job there at the courthouse as the buttoned up court clerk. Who knew that the stuffy buttoned up courthouse ladies had that wicked side to them? I might even make friends here!
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