Ares is the god of war, currently voiced by Teresa Watson.
Know Your God
Weight: 180 lbs.
Hair Color: Brown, neatly trimmed, parted on the left, or if he’s in a wild mood, he’ll maybe put some gel on the front and spike it up a little.
Facial Hair: Clean shaven
Distinguishing Features: N/A
Spouse: Single, but was once in a long-term affair with Aphrodite; other divine, semi-divine and mortal women.
While I do have a place in the GC HQ, I primarily live in the penthouse of my security company’s business.
General Overview: History has not been kind to Ares, reporting him to be hated by everyone. Ares is a very passionate person who feels things on a deeply personal level. Because of this, he tends to be a bit hot-headed at times. All these centuries have mellowed him a bit, and he’s not quite as fond of war as he used to be, but he will not hesitate to fight anyone who attacks him or those he’s close to. If he has a weakness, it would be Aphrodite. If he has a flaw, he tends to react instead of thinking things through first, although he is trying to change that.
Deity Nicknames: God of War
Likes: Reading books on military history; watching war movies; working out; driving his classic 1968 Ford Mustang 390 GT 2+2 Fastback (which is midnight blue) (will expand on this as we go)
Dislikes: Seafood; arguments between women (you think men fight dirty? Have you watched women fight? That’s a “claw your eyes out, make you bleed” death match!)
Hothead. The God of War has a temper – big surprise. Not as big a surprise as what waits for those who rouse his anger. When roused, Ares tends to act first, think later, and his temper is known for getting him into more than a bit of trouble. Fortunately, he was made for that.
Me and Mine. Ares is protective of his family and anyone that he is closely bonded to. This trait is knee-jerk and often results in actions that are taken without looking at the big picture. Ares is focused on protecting his own, which means the enemy can slip in from behind. A blade in the back is a deadly thing.
Brick Wall. To say Ares is stubborn is an understatement. He knows what he knows, he does what he does, and good luck changing that. Brick wall are more attentive.
Eye for Beauty. Ares appreciates a pretty face, among other things. The God of War can walk into a place and tell you five ways out of it, who is packing firearms, and the location of every beautiful woman in the room. And the more beautiful the woman, the more distracted he is.
Skills / Abilities
Immortality. Technically immortal. Immune to the effects of aging, cannot die by any conventional means, and is immune to all known mortal diseases and infections.
Babble-speak. Can communicate in all languages and dialects.
War God. As a War God, Ares is skilled in all weapons, both actual and environmental. Ares is skilled in hand-to-hand combat and strategy, as well as field tactics. Though not immune to injury, Ares is skilled enough in wargames that he rarely takes damage. Magical weapons can harm him – but they have to hit him first.
Bloodlust. Ares gets drunk on the frenzy of battle, amplifying his speed and strength. When the bloodlust takes hold, Ares is a fearsome sight to behold and can lower morale in enemy forces. Ares can push his aura out to others, letting his bloodlust spread to those that fight alongside him, or to the battlefield in general to stir both sides into epic war.
Drums of War. Ares can make the ground shake with the rumble of marching troops and war drums to strike fear into the hearts of those preparing to do battle.
Unstoppable. Ares knows the weak point of every weapon or shield and is trained to seek that weak point automatically. He can sense breaches in defenses and exploit them with an uncanny accuracy that some would call luck. Ares just knows how war works and what it takes to win quickly and decisively.
Super Strength. Ares has strength that is equal to Hercules, but not as great as his father, Zeus. This strength behind any wielded weapon is a force to be feared.
Teleportation. Ares has the ability to go wherever he wants by teleporting, but prefers to walk to stay fit, or drive one of his many vehicles. But in an emergency, he will teleport where he is needed.
Normal Daily Wear: Ares’ general attire would be jeans, form fitting t-shirts (to show off those muscles to the ladies), boots. (Ares doesn’t do togas anymore!)
Gun. Ares is fascinated with modern weapons, so he has many in his arsenal. But his favorite is a Sig Sauer p320, which he carries with him most of the time.
Hunting Knife. A special tactical knife that has a special switch that, when activated, can become Ares’ divine sword.
Pendant. A special pendant with a sword and shield design. When touched, Ares can become invisible for a short time.
Ares was the son of Zeus and Hera, but not liked by them or anyone. Known as the God of War, Ares had an insatiable appetite for war. While Athena, his sister, relied more on military strategy, he preferred all the brutal aspects of battle. He had a quick temper, which often got him into trouble with other gods, who saw him as a coward.
Although Hera thought she was a caring and nurturing mother, Ares had other thoughts on the matter. Nonetheless, Ares loved her and went out of his way to help her whenever she was in trouble. His greatest love was Aphrodite, even though she was married to his brother, Hephaestus. Ares was said to be arrogant and cruel, he loved his children very much (except for Harmonia, who he turned into a snake, along with her husband Cadmus).
“Smell that? You smell that? Napalm, son. Nothing else in the world smells like that. I love the smell of napalm in the morning. You know, one time we had a hill bombed, for 12 hours. When it was all over, I walked up. We didn’t find one of ‘em, not one stinkin’ dink body. The smell, you know that gasoline smell, the whole hill. Smelled like… Victory. Someday this war’s gonna end…” – Lt. Col. Bill Kilgore, Apocalypse Now 1979
Granted, the quote above is from a Hollywood movie, but the sentiment is true. The smell of war is sweet to me. Or, I should say, it used to be.
Don’t get me wrong; I love a good battle as much as the next guy. But sometimes a little peace and quiet is nice, too.
The constant fighting gets old after a while. Even the God of War needs a break occasionally. Honestly, I’m on vacation right now. But Hermes popped in with a letter from dear old Dad, Zeus, who is demanding that I do some public relations work. I’m pretty sure he means damage control in my case. He thinks I like to wreak havoc wherever I go. Well, obviously I don’t, if I’m sitting on the white sands of a beach right now, drinking Mai Tai’s and enjoying the view of beautiful women playing beach volleyball.
I would like to clear up some misconceptions that people have about me. My parents do not hate me. Who do you think helps Mother (Hera) when she is plotting revenge against another woman that Dad has gotten friendly with? And when Dad is really mad at someone, but wants to make it look like the person died heroically in battle? Me, both times. Granted, it does make those Sunday afternoon dinners a bit awkward; I can’t exactly tell them what I’ve been up to, especially if one has asked me to kill someone for the other one.
My favorite sibling is Eris. She always knows how to cheer me up when I’m feeling down. She just causes a little chaos, and then we sit back and watch the destruction. Athena bores me, truth be told. She always wants to plan out every single war. It’s not a game of Risk; every single battle cannot be planned out. It totally ruins the element of surprise, but she doesn’t get that. However, I do agree with her that you mortals have totally fucked things up in the war department. And I will admit that the Trojan War was for a worthy cause: Helen was a beautiful woman. Not saying I spent any time with her or anything, not going to spread those rumors again. It would upset Aphrodite, and I don’t want to do that again. Yes, even the goddess of love gets pissed off, and trust me, it is not a pretty sight when she does.
I could go on and on about all of my siblings, but seriously, there are so many it’s hard to keep track. Let’s cut to the chase here: war is not always about bloodlust or women. It’s about power-hungry men who want it all, and they want it right now. Not tomorrow or next week, but now. After all these centuries, I realize that it just doesn’t work that way. You have to bid your time and wait for the right moment. I mean, look at this guy, Trump. He made a grab for the power, and now he’s got it. But you know what? He probably left a few bodies behind along the way. Remember Tricky Dicky? Limp Noodle Bill (who does it in a closet, by the way? I mean, come on, have a little respect for women here, Bill!)?
My public relations team and I hope to show you that I am not always ready to go to battle at the drop of a hat. Believe it or not, I do enjoy peace. It allows me to chase my other pursuits: sports – I particularly enjoy boxing, football, hockey and baseball; books – there are some excellent writers in this day and age, like Clancy, Parker, Thor (no, not the guy with the hammer), Baldacci; art – I love going to Paris to the Louvre with a beautiful woman by my side (sometimes with Aphrodite, sometimes with other beautiful women I’ve met); or simply a quiet night at home, watching Platoon, The Sands of Iwo Jima, Saving Private Ryan (Tom Hanks is an excellent actor), Steel Magnolias. Don’t be shocked by that last one: I know every single one of you cry every time Julia Roberts dies. Don’t lie to me: I know the truth.
I’m just an average guy, who enjoys a quiet life. Now, if you’ll excuse me, this game of beach volleyball is getting rather intense. Clothes are starting to be removed (not that they were wearing much to begin with), and I still need to choose my dinner date for the evening.
- greekmythology.wikia.org/wiki/Ares; greekgodsandgoddesses.net/gods/ares/