Alright, crew, let’s keep this tour snappy. I’ve got a hair appointment at three, and my highlights are in dire need of a touch up. Come on, into the elevator, everyone; step quickly! We’re headed up to the seventh floor where you’ll find my soulmate matching service, A-Harmony, and my fabulous apartment.
<elevator moves up, playing lovely swing music>
Alright, folks, here we are. I wanted to create an inviting environment where people felt comfortable and invigorated. When people feel comfortable, they’re more likely to open up during conversations about their love interests. That’s why I’ve wrapped this whole floor in walls of windows that offer a fantastic view over the city. We get loads of natural sunlight, and viewing the sunset out of this office is a must. In this lobby, you’ll find my lovely receptionist, Debra, who will check you in and comfy couches for you to lounge in while you wait for your appointment.
Down this corridor, you’ll find a series of conference rooms to conduct your interviews. Each is equipped with comfy seating and state of the art surround sound that pipes in relaxing music to keep you relaxed. In the back, our computer systems take all of your information from the questionnaire, to the personal interview, and a top secret algorithm of my own creation and synthesize it to create your soulmate profile. These profiles are then entered into a database that spits out your perfect match. Now, when it spits it out entirely depends on if your soulmate is already in the database. But we have a 100% success rate, so most people don’t complain.
So that’s essentially the end of the…oh…you want to see my apartment? Oh, I don’t let just anyone into my apartment.
You insist? Well…I suppose I could let you peek in from the door.
<takes tour group through the lobby and to double doors>
Welcome to Chez Aphrodite.
Crowd in the doorway here. I love being up on this floor, because it’s just enough of a view, but not so high that it makes you dizzy. That sliding door there leads out to the balcony; that’s perfect for a late night cocktail on the lounge. And yes, I know you’re all surprised, but yes, Aphrodite has a real kitchen. So many people think I don’t cook for myself. I’m actually a reasonably good cook. I enjoy creating all sorts of recipes; it can be quite relaxing.
Forgive the clothes strewn out across the couch; it was a bit of a chaotic night.
The mini bar is a little further that way, and then that hallway leads down to my bedroom. It’s absolutely luxurious. Only the finest silk sheets, purple wallpaper with a hint of glitter, and another balcony. Bathroom is equally high class with a whirlpool Jacuzzi tub and a massive shower, definitely enough space for two. Or three, depending on the night. <smirks>
And just off that room is an entire, full-sized room just for my clothes. I like to think it’s like a royal dressing room, with a settee and a vanity with a large mirror and enough space for dresses, jewelry, hats, shoes, casual wear, etc. You name it, I’ve got it. Think Princess Diaries 2 type closet. Oh, just spectacular.
Alright, alright, that’s enough ogling. Back down to the lobby, folks. Debra will check you all in and get you started with your interviews straight away. Thank you for choosing A-Harmony for your soulmate needs.
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