I’m surprised by a few of the recent calls I’ve had lately seeking my services. In the past week, I’ve had four different people wanting to know if I’d represent them in their divorce. Seems my little sister, Hera, is finding it harder to share her marital wisdom on these modern mortals than she thought it would be. She and I may not always get along, but I have to admit that when it comes to trying to save a marriage, she’s the one to turn to.
I’ve agreed to take on one particular client, an older lady named Sally. She’s decided to divorce her husband of fourteen years on the grounds that his mental and emotional abuse is causing her physical pain. As I listened to her story, I began to feel her suffering in my soul and knew I had to help save her before it was too late. I started searching through my law books. Though I have unlimited access to all modern laws from around the world, I wanted something from the sacred laws that would give this woman some much-needed peace.
As I combed through the Holy Scriptures of the ancient Babylonians and Israelites, I felt a familiar presence in the air. I knew it was my little sister. Her aura always entered a room before she did. A moment later, she sauntered in with that “bow to your queen” look on her face. Needless to say, that didn’t happen.
“Hello, Sister,” she chimed with all her imperialism. “I just stopped by to see if you enjoyed my little gift to you. Think of it as my way of welcoming you back home.” She ran her fingers across the top of my beautiful oak desk, then wiped them off with her thumb, as though disgusted by the feel.
“Why, my dear Hera,” I didn’t even try to hide my sarcasm. “I wondered when I’d be seeing you around here. I was beginning to think you might be avoiding me. I do want to thank you for sending your unsuccessful attempts at reconciliation my way.” Had I been a mortal, the look she shot at me would have decalcified my spinal column. However, as a goddess, all I did was give her a grin.
She continued gliding around my office, scanning the vast number of law books lining the walls. I knew she wanted something, but I also knew that her pride would never allow her to owe me a favor. “Is there something you need, Little Sister? I quipped, trying to get to the heart of the matter.
“As a matter of fact, I need some legal advice”. I was both shocked and intrigued. Hera was never one to worry about formalities and legalities. In fact, the last time she came to me for legal advice, I had to show her proof that she could not, under Universal Law, kill any of the goddesses Zeus had been intimate with. She could beat, maim, defile, extort, or torture them, but she could not kill them.
Though she was trying to maintain her composure, I could tell there was something bothering her. “Okay, Sister, what’s going on?”
She gracefully took a seat across from me and folded her hands. “I don’t know if you’ve heard, but I’ve been toying with the idea of writing a tell-all book about my life. I think it’s something the mortals will enjoy, while reminding them of who I am and why they need me. However, Zeus claims that I can’t discuss any of his exploits or any discussions between the two of us. I need to know what rights I have in this matter.”
I wasn’t sure I wanted to help. Baby Brother would not be happy if I could help his wife prove she could discuss their private matters in her book, but it wasn’t often that Hera came to me with a real issue. “Fine,” I replied calmly, “but you will owe me for this one.”
She tried to brush it off with a wave of her hand, but I could sense the anger inside her. “I’m well aware of that, Sister. No need to remind me. Now, where do we begin?”
“We begin with some of the things you want to discuss. I need to know what it is you’re wanting to talk about so I know which laws to look into. I’ll check my database and see what you can and can’t do according to Sacred Law. We both know full well that Zeus isn’t going to like this at all. However, he is the one who asked me to take this position, so let’s get to work.”
Hera spent the next 4 hours telling me about all the things she’d planned to put in her book. This was not going to be an easy endeavor.
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